


Life: Me vs myself

by Minori



Category: Original Work
Genre: Diary/Journal, Fiction, INSPIRATIONAL, Nevr give up, Other, Sad?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:02:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8441395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minori/pseuds/Minori
Summary: A journal entry of a girl and her thoughts on her life, What does she discover when recollecting her thoughts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is the first thing I'm posting and it is purely because I don't want to do my homework :3 it was just a random idea that struck me and I decided to get it all written down and share it, I don't know what gave me the idea to write such a story, the idea for this character was just random bits and pieces I've seen here and there that I decided to put together one character, a lot might find this relatable and I hope no one is offended by it or anything it wasn't my intention, please read to the end thought. Anyway sorry if this sucks or if there is any errors.

Journal entry #307

Saturday, the weekend had begun, no school, not as much bullshit, but then again the world was full of political bullshit and I was sick of it which is why I tend to ignore it, no point in keeping up with it if you asked me. Detangling myself from the sheets of my bed I stood and sleepily found my clothes in the dim light of my room, upon finding them I made my way to the shower saying hello to my cat on my way, and a mumbling hello to the rest of my family. With the hot water beating at my back I sighed, wasn't it only yesterday I started year 10? How was it I was now at the end of the year, end of year exams coming up in only a couple weeks! Time seemed so slow as a child...but I'm not a child anymore now I'm a teenage girl, or am I young woman? I don't know. Turning of the water, now clean from yesterday’s grime I stepped out of the shower staring at the mirror in front of me. Why does your hair mat up when wet? I wonder. Or is that just my hair? No it’s normal... or is it? Why do I wonder if stuff is normal? What is normal? Does normal exist? Why do I care whether it’s normal or not? These thoughts attack my mind everyday not always the same thoughts just trivial thoughts, like whether I fit in or not? Do people care about me? What rumours are going around about me that I don't know about? Why do I care? I try to convince myself I don't care what others say or think about me but it’s a lie to myself and I'm not believing it yet, people around me think I don't care, they say I'm strong and that they admire me for it but what if they knew that deep down I want to break down and cry? What if they knew I cry when I'm alone? What if? Would they still think I'm strong? Or would they think I'm weak? I always wonder what people think about me, do they think I'm weird for liking anime? Do they think I'm fat? Do they think I'm ugly? I don't know what would hurt more, being told that to my face or hearing it behind my back maybe not knowing is good. I don't miss the bullying from primary school, though it’s always baffled me why the people who bullied me then are nice to me now, they think I'm cool, they always try to talk to me. Why? Is it all truth? Or are they spewing lies? I don’t think will ever know. What about those I used to call ‘best friends?’ or even ‘friends’ ha that was a bullshit friendship. Four of us ‘best friends’ did heaps together, looking back now I was the butt of almost every joke, I was a victim to their tricks, I feel like I still am even as now I do my best to keep away. Everything they did was to make my life miserable. They called me a taco when I became an Otaku, they bullied me, tried to get me to do things I didn’t want to do. Probably why peer pressure doesn’t work on me, I learnt how to not give in. They pushed me to tears so many times. I don’t have much control over my tears anymore. They were never friends to me why I trusted them I will never know. Music, that solves so many problems for a time, it puts feelings into words. Homework just created more. This art class would be better if the teacher knew what she was doing. I sigh the due date I had missed already, a day late. Oh well not like anyone else was finished anyway haha a faint smile passes my lips at the thought no one cares in that class. Everyone gets along, it’s all fun and in the end we hand in our work. What about the other classes? History that an interesting class half us are up to date the rest behind but all equally sarcastic, it probably doesn’t help the class is all girls. Sport well that’s like a few sporty people mixed with lazy people, English a bunch of people annoyed with the teacher like art we joke and get our work down, Math idiots who argue the point and compete for the better grade. Science those who had no better option and are really confused with a few exceptions. If I think about it school itself is pointless but there is a lot of fun involved. Fun, good times it’s not all boring and depressing. I have started to realise that, no one looks at the positivity things of life anymore it’s all the negativity why can’t we all just have fun and not care, why don’t we let go, yeah plot twist from what I was saying before, that’s just it you got to put a twist on it to make it worth it. Live life not by the Manuel, throw that shit away and write it yourself. No don’t break the law or anything just do things your way not how people say to do it. That’s how I want to see life, I’m going to start seeing it that way, I’m going to stop caring about those worries I had, I’m going to take a stand against myself, fight the negative with positive! I won’t give up, I will prove everyone who doubted me wrong! Including myself… but... Can I do it? Yes! No... Yes! Yes I can! …Yes I can. To those who admire me for being strong, I will be strong and give them a real reason to say they admire me. I will better than those who bullied me, I will show them they didn’t destroy me, maybe they had for a time but, I’m stronger than that. Let’s prove the world wrong…

That’s it for today’s journal entry.


End file.
